Bent and bowed
I trudged through the chaos
Hunting for gems to brighten my lot
Stretched thin and threadbare
I sought for answers to lighten my load
Until His whispers of hope renewed
Unlocked and loosed
My crippled frame set straight
He exchanged the millstone for peace
The last couple of weeks have been somewhat intense. My husband and I deliberated over a particular issue for a long time, weighed the pros and cons, prayed about it and then finally decided to make a move, believing God had given the green light.
Then it fell through and I was crushed with disappointment. More than I thought I would be. All along, I thought I was open and would be fine either way. Guess not.
By the end of last week, I was exhausted and pretty much done. With everything.
I would have given anything to sleep for days and then wake up and have everything be magically different.
To top it off, my entire body ached; my neck was especially sore. It took me a long time to figure this out but I took stock and finally realised that I hadn’t been sleeping well and even when I did, my body never fully relaxed. I slept tense and woke up tense and still exhausted.
I felt like like I had been stretched and bent into a painful position.
But this was also how I felt emotionally. I was threadbare.
I had nothing left to give.
As I wondered what was so different this time from other challenging times I’ve had and why I seem to doing so badly, the Lord reminded me that
- Although He was always near I had changed my position. I had been having my quiet time daily but on reflection, I realised that on most days, I had just been going through the motions and nothing really sank in. I didn’t hold on to any verse for the day or even remember what I read that day.
- I got sucked into the escapism trap and had just been binge-watching happy comedy shows. Normally, I’d play worship music (even if I didn’t feel like singing) but this time since I really wanted to avoid thinking or confronting my disappointment, I escaped into the make-believe. But unfortunately its effects were only temporary and did nothing to help the hurt and worry deep inside.
Once I realised where I had gone wrong, I changed my position and realigned myself back with God. I immediately decided to do my quiet time that day and was amazed by the Lord’s omniscience. I was led to 1 Chronicles 16:11 (AMP),
“Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face continually [longing to be in His presence]”
That was the right word for me at that time. I held onto that verse like a lifeline that day, telling the Lord that I needed His strength (and His help). I was immediately reminded that I’m not alone and do not have to spend my days feeling weighed down by everything.
Since then, I made sure I was once again intentional during my time with God. I feed my spirit man with the Word and I stay in communion with Him through worship. Things have started to change and my outlook has improved. The challenges we are facing are still there but my hope is renewed in the Lord. The millstone is gone from around my neck and my eyes now no longer downcast, can look to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith. (And I can now watch the usual amount of my happy shows, lol).
Friend, if you are currently bent and bowed or stretched thin and threadbare, Jesus wants to take the load off you. In exchange, He’ll give you His peace that surpasses all understanding. I share more on how to give Him your burdens in this post.
Stretched thin and threadbare? #Jesus wants to take your load and give you His #peace. Share on XThis post may be linked up here.
(Image credit: Diana Simumpande from Unsplash)
Such a good reminder for us all because the hard time eventually will come. I am praying for you today for the challenges you are facing.
Thanks Lauren, I appreciate your prayers 🙂
oh so grateful for those lifeline verses in hard, disappointing seasons. thank you for the reminder of His presence and peace when we pause to seek it.
So sorry for the gritty realism behind your words, but grateful for the goodness you are passing along to me through them.
You’re welcome! I’m glad you’ve been blessed.
Lifeline – that’s the word! Thanks for sharing your thoughts Mariel
Wemi,
I’m so thankful for the Spirit who sends up prayers as groans when I can’t put words to my misery. I love the scripture you clung to – reminding us we need to continually seek Him (not just on days it’s convenient). These tumultuous times have me thirsting for the time I spend in His Word. Maybe this is the silver lining of this whole pandemic?? Lifing you up for peace in your days and nights!
Blessings,
Bev xx
I like that perspective Bev – these times have certainly drawn me closer to the Lord. Thanks for your prayers 🙂
So often God’s Word gives us just exactly what we need for the day. It’s amazing. It’s all too easy to just fall into a routine and go through the motions. Praise God He showed you what was wrong and you found His wonderful peace again.
God is good. Thank you for reading and commenting!
Glad to read you pondered the problem and could realign yourself with God. Sending prayers your way, Wemi. It is so good to read just the right Word at the right time.
Thank you for your prayers! A timely Word can make all the difference.
Aw, Wemi … I’m so sorry for your disappointment. That’s tough, even when we think we’re OK either way. I’m glad you were able to pinpoint what was different for you this time and make some course corrections … worship is so important for me during stressful times too.
Thanks Lois!